THE BOOGIEMAN

THE BOOGIEMAN

Many many years ago
When I was very young,
The darkness always frightened me
I felt so very numb.

To me you were the boogieman
Waiting for your prey,
Somehow you got me to believe
That you loved me in your own way.

How could you be the boogieman
But in the daytime be my dad,
Treat me with love and tenderness
But at night you were cold as ice.

You often said it was something
That dad's did with their little girls,
You wanted me to believe it norm
My head was in a whirl..

As a teen I knew it wasn't right
But I was too afraid to tell,
You knew that and took advantage
You put me through that hell.

Only I knew you as the boogieman
To everyone else you were my dad,
Someone who was so wonderful
But to me you made me sad.

My dreams were turned into nightmares
That haunt me to this day,
I was so afraid to sleep at night
To God oh how I prayed.

I would cringe whenever we were alone
You would pull my pubic hairs,
And make me cry and scream in pain
You laughed, you didn't care.

"No!! Please stop!!" is what I said
But you laughed and did it some more,
As an adult, I know it turned you on
My heart is what you tore.

The question why I'll never know
Because you can only sit and stare,
You're not that Boogieman anymore
But all those memories I still can't bare.

Whenever I come and visit you
Even though you are old and gray,
In your eyes I look and see the past
Oh how it haunts me to this day.

Yes, that boogieman is gone now
He can't hurt me anymore,
Only the memories I have, so daunting,
In my mind forever stored.

written by Mary G.

Like A Rose

Like a Rose

Like a rose I feel, that does not bloom
Enclosed inside the petals tight,
No air to breathe, I feel the strain
Too hard to cope, I just can't fight.

The petals fall, they can't hang on
They give in to nature, it is their foe,
My abuser, my foe, he always wins
Too small to escape, my eyes do flow.

The petals crisp from the weather cold
No chance to be saved from the new fallen snow,
My life is his, control he takes
Caught in his web, he has one goal.

The wind races on, blows away the snow
Broken pieces of petals begin to stand out,
I don't stand out, I hide my pain
Who would believe, is there any doubt?

Life is gone from the petals cracked
Breaking in pieces they're buried from view,
I feel so broken and can't be fixed
For what I feel he has no clue.

A rose rejuvenates and blooms again
With petals wide open it shows beauty inside,
I have no beauty, the damage is done
I retreat within, I just want to die!!!

written by Mary G.

Through The Eyes Of A Child

Through the Eyes Of A Child

What do you see I said to her
I see much sadness of faces with tears,
The look in their eyes shows so much pain
I see the terror of all their fears.

What would you change, if ever you could
I would take away their pain and hold them tight
And give them hope, that they never had
Take away their fears from the darkness of night.

What do you feel I asked of her
I feel the presence of danger close by,
The shivers of fear that makes them weep
I wish I could answer their questions...why.

Why would you take it upon yourself
To do these things, to set them right,
Because I know the pain they feel
I know of their sadness for which they can't fight

But how do you know these things I said
You were not there, you did not see,
In them I saw myself, she said
Stuck in time, I can't get free.

Now that you see through the eyes of a child
Can you stop the blame for yourself inside,
I've tried so hard to tell myself
The blame is not mine, and I needn't hide.

It's not your fault, I gently told her
Blame needs to be put on him instead,
I know you are right is what she said
Dear God, I thank you as she bowed her head.

written by Mary G.

The Past How It Makes Me Weep

THE PAST HOW IT MAKES ME WEEP

I try so hard to shake the past

But it still flickers through my mind,

That little girl that I do see

Herself she still cant find.

The pain she feels tears through her

Like a knife so sharp she screams,

Why did he do those awful things

When he comes close it makes her squeam.

She feels his breath upon her face

Her eyes shut tight to hide,

He gropes her body until it hurts

“You're daddy's girl, oh how he lied”.

With tears that stain her little cheeks

Too afraid to make a sound,

Like a monster he envelopes her

And takes her, to him she's bound.

She only wishes for happy times

To be free to smile and have fun,

But her sombre look takes hold of her

There's no joy, no love, just none.

She tries so hard to hide her fears

And keeps them deep inside,

But one day they will erupt in her

And to someone she will confide.

With my eyes I see her tiny face

I cry for her each night,

I want so much to hug her close

And tell her it will be alright.

But sadness is all I see in her

And the pain that she did feel,

Of the emptiness that did strangle her

Why did it have to be real?

Where does it say that someone

Can abuse a child so small?

Relentless probing fingers

She was frozen, she was held in thrall.

It still sickens me to envision it

As an adult it still hurts so deep

My mind it wanders amilessly

To the past, how it makes me weep.

I don't know when I will heal inside

For that little girl in me,

Is still too scared to open up

Dear God please help set her free.

Free to be her self again,

With a sparkle in her eye,

To have happy thoughts and pretty smiles

And no more fears that make her cry.

I end this here in hopes that I

Will one day conquer my fears,

And be able to show one little child

That there IS hope, and no more tears.

Written by Mary G.

Streaming Tears

Streaming tears upon my face
Each day when I awake,
Trying hard to show a smile
A smile that I do fake.

There is no hope is what I feel
To live a normal life,
He saw to that, I was his own
It cuts through me like a knife.

Each day was spent in so much fear
Of what my day would be,
The depths of despair was so very deep
I knew I could never be free.

I went so rigid from his touch
I closed my eyes to hide,
I could not face his eyes so cold
Inside myself I cried.

I cried for all the sad times
I cried for kids like me,
Who had to face the demons of night
That's not how it should have to be.

So many times I prayed to God
To set all children free,
But my words seemed not to be answered
I guess it was meant to be.

Why do we need to feel the wrath
Of so many years gone by?
We suffered enough when we were young
Streaming tears that just won't die.

Written by Mary G.